3 Life-Changing Things I'm Personally Leaving in 2024 and What I'm Manifesting Instead for an Abundant 2025

Happy New Year, my Beautiful AWOLer!

I don’t know about you but it’s already been a good year just in this day alone! 📣 Ok so I know it’s Wednesday and typically we’ve starting diving into Q&A but, in honor of New Year’s Day, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what I’m personally leaving behind in 2024 and share some of what I’m stepping into for 2025. So Wednesday’s Q&A with OEV will resume next Wednesday, but today, let’s start this year with intention and clarity. 

What I’m Leaving Behind in 2024

1. Living in Lack:

For me, lack wasn’t just about unpaid bills and late fees, it was about the stress of not having enough for my way I considered to be simple things and having to rob Peter and Montez in order to pay Paul and Jameka. I got tired of not only putting out fires for him but even after I separated, I grew tired of finding a way to take care of me and my children’s needs or even the things that bring me joy and comfort as well as them. That got super old, super quick.

So…I’m leaving behind those moments of juggling what bill gets paid first, sacrificing leisure and self-care, and putting off the things that make life abundant. Whether it was my children’s’ locs, my nails, or a moment of peace, lack has no space in my 2025. I’m telling you now, I’m done with that shit and 2024 can have it.

 2. Boundaries Being Crossed:

This past year taught me the power of saying “no” and meaning it. I’m done allowing others to overstep my boundaries…whether it’s even super close friends, family, him or anyone else. Boundaries protect my peace, and I’m committed to enforcing them unapologetically. I’m done being the rescuer of friends and family. Get yo shit together just like I’m getting mine. Do the work and we’ll be healthy birds flying free because one thing about me, if I can separate from the man I birthed 5 children for within 20 years of marriage who was probably closest to me than anybody for repeatedly crossing boundaries, please believe that goes for any and everyone. If I have not answered you via text or video or however you’ve reached out, you’ve been unofficially put that “No More Crossing List”. My boundaries are no longer for sale. I took them off the market in the latter part of 2024 and they are dearly enforced. 

 3. Depending on a Man: 

I’ll always appreciate and welcome the support of a man, but I’m no longer putting myself in a position where I depend on one for my needs or stability. Dependency kept me small, waiting, and often compromising all the way up to parts of 2024. In 2025, I’m standing firmly in my own power, making sure I’m fully provided for by myself and the abundance I’m manifesting. The moment I stood up to my husband on this…even he had to yield because my Father don’t play about me just like He don’t play about him. So don’t play in my face. The last time he tried to play with me, he threatened not to send child support one day and was withholding it as if I was going to grovel or do what he said I should do in order to get it. Yet, I stood 10 toes down and made it clear, “Please know I do not need your money, but your children do. If you choose not to send the agreed upon amount as you’ve been somewhat on a roll sending, that’s fine. I’ll let the children know you not sending it and then this can be the last time we talk and you’ll hear from the courts from here on. You and I both know I always find a way to take care of me and mine with or without your help as I’ve been doing anyway”. When I said this I wasn’t scared, angry or even tired. I wasn’t at all. I was simply enforcing a boundary of “Don’t play in my face about our children or we can can be two black people in the Texas courtrooms and I will not only let them handle the child support but I’ll also go for that alimony the state of Texas said I actually qualify for after having several degrees and staying home to have, raise and homeschool your babies for 18 plus years. What’s up”? Now I didn’t say that out loud (I don’t think I did anyway) but in literally 4 minutes of me responding, the coins were heard that the money he had been withholding had dropped. But that was the first time I wasn’t relieved when he sent the money like all the other times. This time the relief came when I stood up to him and confirmed my boundaries because that was saying “I do not need your money nor you to provide for me but, you will provide your portion for your children” and that shit felt liberating. It’s interesting…that sounded somewhat familiar as I said similarly back in 2009 when we were separated and I found out where he was and took our two toddlers to him while I was pregnant. I remember saying, “You thought you was gon leave me with all the responsibilities? I think not”. And that’s all I’m saying. We made these children together and we gon’ take care of them together no matter the state of our marriage. So the money hitting was simply a byproduct of that. I set the tone on who I was now, not who I was before because She AWOL boo. And she no longer depends on a man.😌 

 I’m not sure if that was a turn on to him or what but he ain’t tried that nor slipped up late since and we now have a mutual respect for one another based upon these concrete boundaries of mine and the intense love we both share for our children. 

That’s why he got invited to Christmas dinner too. See I can be very cordial, loving and compassionate when my boundaries are kept because I’m free in doing so and not forced. I’m not saying I didn’t love the woman I was before, but I am saying I’m truly in love with the woman I am now. I don’t depend on a man for Nathan. 😃 I truly don’t. I depend on He 👑and Me 🫶 and greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world. I will never be tied up by what too many has defined as a “Keeper at Home” ever again. Instead the Proverbs 31 was a business woman and into real estate and that is me now. I’ll share more on my late 2024/early 2025 manifestations in this soon. (Here’s that 📍 on that 😉 )

 What I’m Building in 2025

1. Abundance:

You’ll be hearing me talk about this a lot this year. And no, I’m not talking about a highlight reel for social media. I mean real, undeniable abundance. This year, I’m creating a life where my bills are paid on time, my savings account is thriving, and I can pour into myself and my children without hesitation. Abundance looks like overflow, and it’s actually already here. 

 2. Assets in My Name:  

I believe in building alongside a partner especially your man in marriage, but I’ve learned the importance of having assets exclusively in my name. In 2025, I’m investing in property ( 📍 ), trusts, and LLCs to ensure that I (and my children) are always protected and secure. I will never…do you hear me right now 🦻 NEVER not have for me and mine ever again, whether a man messes up something or not. I will be prepared for whatever. I will not be letting everything be in his name only and my name in supporting role only or not at all. I’m undoing this mess as I have 3 Daughters that need to know the detrimental effects that can happen of depending so heavily on a man for these things. So I’m changing things up in this area which I started in 2024 but it’s on full fledge 2025.

 3. An Updated Living Will: 

This is one of my first priorities in 2025…updating my living will to reflect where I am now. My children, not my estranged husband, will be the beneficiaries of everything I leave behind. It’s time for me to teach my oldest daughter, now 18, how to handle these responsibilities so she’s equipped for the future. When my mom passed, I learned firsthand the chaos that comes without a proper plan. I don’t want my children to experience the same. The Bible says a good parent leaves an inheritance for their children’s children, and I want to honor that by ensuring my affairs are in perfect order above and beyond. Whether you’re single, married, have kids, or not, I encourage you to start this process now if you haven’t already.

 Let’s Start This Year Together 

Thank you for being here in this New Year with me as we reflect on what we’re leaving behind and what we’re stepping into. Let’s agree to make 2025 a year of growth, alignment, and abundance. If today’s reflections resonated with you, hit me back and let me know what you’re personally leaving behind in 2024 and what you’re taking with you into 2025. I’d love to hear your journey and what you’re manifesting for this year!

Are you ready to work thru those personal challenges, set boundaries, and create the abundance you deserve in 2025? Let’s do it together. Book a one-on-one session with me today, where I’ll help you strategize and transform your love, life, and intimacy struggles into triumphs.

Let’s make 2025 our most abundant and aligned year yet.

Always Much Love,

~ Octavia E Vance (OEV) 💋 

Your Favorite Sexologist & Navigator of Love, Leisure, and Pleasure

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