After I Gave All I Had, I Had Nothing Left...Except Me!

You’re Not Late, You’re Just Arriving and You’re Right on Time.

Sis,

Let me tell you something that dropped in my spirit so strong I had to stop everything and write it down just for you:

You’re not late; you’re just arriving as the woman who finally gets to choose herself.

Read that again.

You’re not late; you’re just arriving as the woman who finally gets to choose herself.

Because I know what it feels like to look around and wonder: How the hell did I get here? To feel like you're starting over…again. To sit with the weight of endings you never saw coming. To stare at a calendar or a birthday or a milestone and whisper to yourself, “But I thought I'd be further along by now” or “I can’t believe this is ending.”

I know what it’s like to watch the life you gave everything to slowly fall apart. To have your heart cracked open and wonder if it’ll ever beat the same again. To feel like someone took the best years of your life…and you let them. To ask, “Did I waste my time?”

Let me say it again:

You didn’t waste time; you invested in love. You gave. You mothered. You sacrificed. You stayed. You believed. You hoped. You tried. You did.

And even if it didn’t give back to you in the way it should have or think that it should have, please don’t ever think it was all for nothing. You are not starting from scratch. You are starting from wisdom, from experience, from clarity, from power.

And now?

Now you’re choosing you. And when a woman finally does that, time bends.

What took 10 years before can now take 10 days. What once looked like delay is just divine timing re-sequencing itself around your true desire.

You are not losing time; you are reclaiming it.

And reclaiming time is one of the most spiritual acts a woman can make when she realizes she’s been surviving more than she’s been living.

Here’s What I Know About Women Like Us

We don’t crumble easy, but we feel deeply. We carry legacy and pain, dreams and duty, purpose and pressure. We’re expected to move on like nothing ever broke us, but we carry the fractures in our hearts and wombs.

We don’t say it often, but some of us wonder…

Did he take the best years of my life?
Did I waste my time?
What do I even have left to give now?

Let me tell you something bold:

Nothing was wasted.

Every year that didn’t go the way you hoped has now become wisdom.

Every moment you gave from an empty cup is now your evidence of endurance.

Every version of you who settled, stayed, or silenced her voice? She’s the reason you get to speak now with power and clarity.

So no, you’re not really starting over.

You’re starting:

From truth.
From freedom.
From ownership.
From healing.
From you.

I want to affirm you if:

You’re navigating a separation, divorce, or break-up and wondering how to rebuild again. You’re stepping into your late 30s, 40s, or 50s and still don’t have the relationship, marriage, career, or life you thought you’d have by now. You’re letting go of an identity that was rooted in everyone else’s needs but your own. You’re feeling the grief of time “lost” but also hearing a small voice telling you it’s not too late.

That voice is right.

It’s not too late.

You’re not behind. You’re being re-aligned.

You didn’t lose anything because honestly, nothing is ever lost. It’s just rearranged (stick a
📍here for another time ).

So what do you do next?

You get honest.
You own where you are.
And then?
You choose yourself in the most beautiful and unapologetic way possible.

And when you do that, the world rearranges. Resources realign. Time starts working for you instead of against you.

Because a woman who finally chooses herself is unstoppable.

You deserve to smile like this too…because choosing you is the best thing you’ll ever do.

If you’re ready to start again, this time with you at the center, I’d love to walk with you.

You don’t have to figure it out alone. I offer 1:1 sessions where we walk thru and talk thru where you are, where you’re going, and what needs to be released so you can step fully into this next chapter…just as I’ve done.

P.S. I’ve been transparent about my separation journey. As I take even bigger steps forward, I’ll be sharing more about what’s really going on now, what’s next and how you can be a part of it. This will only be shared inside the premium space in a private group setting. So if you haven’t already, go premium now to access exclusive content just between you and me.

Always Much Love,

Octavia E. Vance (OEV) 💋
Your Favorite Sexologist and Navigator of Love, Leisure & Pleasure