She’s Still AWOL... Just Quieter, Clearer, and Done Negotiating

Hey love,

I didn’t send any newsletters last week. Not because I didn’t have something to say, but because I was still in the middle of something real. And I couldn’t force words I hadn’t lived thru yet.

I was living the lesson; not ready to teach it…yet.
I was sitting in the silence, because silence was the only honest thing I had to offer.

And in that silence, I met myself again.

Not the version that keeps going out of habit.
Not the one who makes it all work out of muscle memory.
But the one who finally asked, “What would happen if I stopped tending to everything and just tended to me”?

That’s when I realized something had shifted.

This isn’t bitterness. This is clarity.
Clarity that didn’t arrive all at once, but slowly, across a thousand quiet moments. Moments where I felt myself shrink, silence my truth, or compromise in ways that left me feeling unrecognizable.

It’s the kind of clarity that doesn’t scream. It just settles in.
It lands in the body like a full breath. A truth too rooted to ignore.

This is what it means to stop editing your needs to match someone else’s capacity.
To stop folding yourself into shapes that were never yours to begin with.
To stop asking, “Is this too much?” when the real question was always, “Is this true for me?”

It’s realizing that honoring your needs without shame, without apology, without dilution isn’t selfish.
It’s sacred.
And it’s the only way forward for a woman who’s decided that her peace is non-negotiable.

I’m transitioning from being a woman who survived
to being a woman who no longer accepts anything that threatens her peace.
And in that liminal space between the two… it hurts… but it’s sacred.

So yes, I’m still here. I’m not going nowhere, boo.
I’m Still AWOL
I’m Still Unfolding

But this version of me?
She’s quieter. She’s clearer. She’s no longer negotiating with inconsistency.
She’s not negotiating with patterns she’s already healed from. She’s no longer waiting for the green light on roads she’s built.
She knows that everything built from here; love, home, business, rest…has to match her clarity, her capacity, and the peace she’s paid for in full.

She’s burning down every role, every rule and every rhythm that even tried to make her forget who tf she is.

So…as I return to you
in this space
in this rhythm
in this truth
I want you to feel the overflow.

Because I’m not just writing you to stay consistent
I’m writing you to stay connected. 😉 

So Let’s Geaux!

Always Much Love,

Octavia E. Vance (OEV) 💋 
Your Favorite Sexologist and Navigator of Love, Leisure & Pleasure

P.S. As I’ve been sharing, I’ve been transparent about my separation journey. As I take even bigger steps forward, I’ll be sharing more about what’s really going on now, what’s next and how you can be a part of it. This will only be shared inside the premium space in a private group setting. So if you haven’t already, go premium now to access exclusive content just between you and me.

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